from the Etiquette while Dating bonus book from Adai Ad First Point Course. Most of the booklet was compiled from ideas from girls who felt that based on their experiences, there are some things that guys ought to know…
This is by no means complete and indicative of everyone’s experiences. It is based on common courtesy of menchlichkeit and modern Western society that people living in America have come to expect.
The intent of the material in booklet is to bring some rules of etiquette to the fore. And once you are aware of what many women expect, you can decide for yourself what feels most comfortable to you.
There are two ways to mess up etiquette. One is to ignore it altogether. The other is to over-think it and overdo it, and thus make it weird and awkward. So keep that in mind as you read these guidelines; the most important thing to remember is simply to be natural and to use common sense! The key to successful good manners in general is to make it look effortless.
There is no script, there are no rules. Be yourself – what feels right for you.
- Walk at her pace.
- Notice the ground on which you will be walking. Cobblestones, cracks in the sidewalks, pebbles, sand, etc. are difficult to walk on – especially with heels. Avoid those. Similarly, notice sidewalk grates; those are especially difficult to walk on with heels. And sometimes they let up blowing air which can make for uncomfortable situation. As possible, avoid them, or you walk on those and let her walk on solid sidewalk.
If it is raining
- If there is a possibility of rain, bring 2 umbrellas.
- Sharing an umbrella generally brings two people in ‘too close for Halacha’ proximity. The man should be the one walking on the side closer to the street, so that if a car splashes water, it lands on him, not her.
- Plan accordingly to minimize the time outside in the rain. If it is raining, plan to go someplace where the parking lot is very close to the destination. If when you come to the destination, and you realize it is too noisy or not conducive to good conversation, don’t just say “it’s too noisy here, let’s go somewhere else…’. Ask her what she prefers. Many girls really don’t like to walk in the rain..