by Devora Krasnianski, founder of Adai Ad Institute
There are words of compliments, appreciation and gratitude. And then there is showing the other person how much your own life is enriched by having them in your life. This really makes the other person feel good to be doing for you.
An expression of gratitude such as “Thank you for taking care of dinner” is nice. Yet, it reveals little of what’s going on for you.
A much richer statement is: “Thank you for taking care of dinner. Just knowing that I have warm food waiting for me when I come home made this long day seem so much more bearable.”
Another example: “I so appreciate your time and your insights. I feel much more hopeful now.”
And one more: “I love watching how you interact with the kids. Just knowing that they are with you when I’m out makes me feel relaxed that they are in good hands.”
One last one: “I know you really didn’t want to do it, and you did it anyway. So firstly, thank you for taking care of that. And more importantly, I feel loved that you did it just because I requested.”
Often, we are indeed grateful and appreciative, but we don’t express it. Or, we say a simple Thank You. Sometimes it is hard to articulate exactly how your life was enriched by the other person’s actions or words. Take the time to really think how that action makes you feel. And share that with them.
Some emotions that you might be feeling: Relaxed. Happy. Taken care of. Secure. Moved. Energized. Uplifted my mood. Made things easier. You really ‘get who I am’. Cared for. ‘I really matter to you’.
Caveat: This should not be used as a form of manipulation or an attempt to get something from the other person. Be assured, they will sense that very quickly.