There are no rules in Shiduchim. Part 8

by Devora Krasnianski, founder of Adai Ad Institute

The shadchen never calls me or follows through with suggestions. How often can I call the shadchen without being a nudnik?

  • Firstly, do not rely too heavily on any one shadchan. Network, network, network.  More shiduchim are made through friends, family and acquaintances than an official shadchan.
  • If you do not like the approach that particular shadchan is using, reach out to someone else, to many other people.
  • It is human nature for people to work harder for those who show appreciation or compensation for their efforts.  You might send a gift card or a box of chocolate, or even a note of sincere appreciation for their efforts and concern.
  • When you start working with any shadchan, ask about her process.  You can also ask if it would be OK for you to text every few weeks or so, just to bring your name to the fore of their mind.
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