by Devora Krasnianski, founder of Adai Ad Institute
“This whole shiduchim part of my life is so frustrating and stressful, I wish there was a manual of how to navigate through it.” “Indeed, what are the protocols; wouldn’t it be great if those were written and shared with all?”
Though it may be easier to have a clear set of guidelines, there really are no rules when it comes to shiduchim. OK, there are just a few which I’ll mention soon. Every potential shiduch is unique – in so many ways that it would be difficult to state explicitly the way they should be done.
- OK, some rules
- If you have an idea for a shiduch, who should you approach first – the family or advocate of the young man or woman? It depends. There are some points to consider.
- How to tell the shadchan that you do not want to pursue the suggestion? Again, there are several things to consider.
- What to do when you receive a “it’s not shayach”?
- What to do when you consistently get “it’s not shayach”? There are several things that might be happening.
- How much time might one take to do research?
- How might you describe your single?
- The shadchen never calls me or follows through with suggestions. How often can I call the shadchen without being a nudnik?
- When should I call the shadchan?